This is back dated post. It happened on October 12, 2009. The story goes like this, Xuan is not feeling well for the past one week due to his gums infection. He has no appetite to eat and rarely talks to us too that make us, especially me feeling uneasy cos he used to be a talkative boy. I can feel how uncomfortable he was and how I wish I can bear his pains. All I can do is make him drinks more water. His breathe real stink and his lip is breaking and that makes him even more fussy.
He will glue to his Papa most of time cos my hubby’s temper is good and he can tolerate him very well as compared to me. In late evening, out of no reason, he behaves cranky and demanding. We try to figure out what he needs, but still, he keep on crying and wailing for no reasons. I really cannot tolerate him anymore and is time for shower too. While bathing him, I smacked him hard on his buttock (till my fingers prints on it).
I brought him to upstairs, he still crying and looking for his Papa. His Papa is a very softhearted towards him while he hears his beloved son still crying. He appears at the doorstep and I shouted him to go down. I don’t mean to shout at him just that I can’t control myself. I even scream at Xuan asking him to stop, after a few minutes I managed to calm him. I started to think,why must I scream at him? Or maybe due to his uncomfortable that makes him cranky.I feel extremely bad and my tears starting to roll down like water tap and I hug my Xuan as tight as possible to ask for his forgiveness. It really makes me a bad mother and I can’t control myself, I cried till I fall asleep.
The sharps pain was like a knife stabbed to my heart and leaving a scar till today. I never feel so bad before but I really don’t know what make me so sad till I cry while I am writing this post. After the incident, I told myself to be more patience, this is a progress of a child growing.
